And on the Lighter Side

On the Lighter Side

Some actual claims - as written on the claimform!

• I was driving along the motorway when the police pulled me over onto the hard shoulder. Unfortunately I was in the middle lane and there was another car in the way.
• When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
• Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
• To avoid a collision I ran into the other car.
• To avoid hitting the bumper of the car infront I struck a pedestrian.
• Three women were talking to each other and when two stepped
  back and one stepped forward I had to have an accident.
• There was no damage done to the car, as the gate post will testify.
• The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
• The telephone pole was approaching and I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end of my car.
• An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
• The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
• The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
• The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
• The bloke was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
• The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
• I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road, causing me to ejaculate
  through the sun roof.
• I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
• I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found I had a fractured skull.
• I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than l thought.
• I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found out when I put my head through it.
• I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog & smothered it with a blanket.
• I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.
• I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
• Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I haven't got.

Source: Ackadia

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